I even stopped my daily newspaper because someone stole it 5 out of 7 days weekly.
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I had lost several newspapers and then did like most of my family tries to do..don't get mad, get even.
So very, very early one morning I got up and carefully opened the paper, inserted a note and then did it up again in the plastic covering. Sure enough, it was gone, but after that none were ever missing!!! On the note it said.
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On any day, or more in the future that I choose, this newspaper might explode with the RED DYE used in bank thefts. One of my friends is a local cop and said he will provide me with this dye. It will take a long time to remove it from your face and any exposed skin, and will most likely give you a bad allergic reaction.
Signed..without any love at all, the true owner of this paper.
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Soon after that a friend about 2 blocks from me complained that she had seen an older lady? walking a fat little dog, letting it crap all over the lawn without cleaning it up but picking up a neighbor's newspaper and tucking it under her arm.
She never got mine again though.