Just think of this coming from a guy, we know how important their jobs are to them, maybe he was thinking about this from his perspective if he had been the one laid off. I think he is trying to be sensitive to your feeling. Truthfully, the last thing I would want to do is cook for for this get together.
After reading your update after sleeping on it, I agree there are a lot of things we just have to let go. I've been married 32 years and have found as the years go by that I can get to that place of letting go quicker than in the past.