Obviously being married 32 years, his intentions were NOT to hurt your feelings but in all honesty (even if it sounds petty) my feelings would have been hurt too. However, I did consider the possibility that maybe he didn't "ask" this lady for help maybe she insisted her help upon him so it may not have completely been his fault. Thats what I would find out (without nagging, of course *wink* and I would let him know just how it made me feel. If he had asked her for help, then he'll know not to do it again, (and if he did I say all bets are off -- buy the wood and the beer for the friend and have him build your new cabinets :) If she insisted helping him then atleast next time he can give you the heads up, and you'll be expecting her "help" Thats just my 2 cents from a wife's point of view.