I think what helps me deal with it is knowing that our three children know it is possible to get a divorce AND remain civil. And, when we have grandchildren, they will hopefully see that gma and gpa can get along. I just get tired of sharing christmas. We have been divorced for over 16 years and when the kids were younger he would get them for Christmas, then show up here for my Christmas (most of them). One year he called me a week before my anniversary (right before Thanksgiving) and told us that he was arriving in a few days and was there for our anniversary. He does let us know ahead of time and is getting better with letting us know farther ahead of time, but it still frustrates me some. Thanks for letting me vent...