I so agree with the original poster....why in the world would you pour a ton of time/energy/money into a gift without first checking with the recipient as to color/style/whatever....and then be annoyed because they didn't gush over it????
That tells me the gift is about you, not them. Isn't it supposed to be about them?
Did you make it because it made you feel good, or because you thought they'd like it? You can't tell me that they ALL would have adored a hand-made whatever...can you?
Isn't it now about how you felt making them? About look at me...look at all the work I did...aren't I wonderful for making this big sacrifice (that you never asked me for)? Isn't it now about getting attention for youself and not about them?
I understand wanting the gift to be a surprise, but if that's your priority a quilt isn't the right gift. If the priority is a gift that they'll love, then you have to KNOW their preferences and if not, allow them input or check with someone who does know. A quilt is too much work to not get it right. I think it boils down to your priority...a surprise or a much-loved quilt.
On the other hand I do think a recipient has an obligation to graciously receive the gift. My SIL just this year commented to another brother's new girlfriend that the woman would NEVER know if I didn't like her present because I am so exceedingly gracious. What a nice compliment!
For me, I love whatever it is because you gave it to me, not because of what it is.
Although I used to get some pretty atrocious gifts from my MIL which were pretty hard to love. :) Had to consciously remind myself to smile and say thank you. And to put it out when she came over (thankfully not that often).
The best gifts I got this year were a broken angel statue and some rocks from my littlest brother, who was trying to make up for the loss of our mother. Bless his broken heart.