I took care of my Mom for the last several years of her life, until she got so I simply couldn't manage it alone any more, and had to put her in an Alzheimer's unit for the last 2 years.
Some of the behavior ( threatening, hoarding) was the same with Mom. She would threaten Dad, and we noticed all of the kitchen knives were disappearing. After she went in the nursing home, I found 14 of them, wrapped in a dish towel, and stashed in her room.
She had a thing about hoarding used paper towels, and she would press the wrinkles out by hand, and carefully stash them in Zip lock baggies. Everywhere.
Since she, too, would grieve if she knew there was a death, but didn't understand who, I opted not to tell her when her sister died, as Mom did not make the connection by then. It is SO hard to know if what you are doing is right or not, but I simply wanted to save her heartache, when she didn't know who her sister was any more.
Many hospitals have caregivers group meetings, and daycare for the patient, too. I found the support group and the trained nurse that conducted the meetings to be a Godsend for me, and for Mom, too. She enjoyed the outing, and I could actually take her with me and know that she was okay, if I had to use the rest-room.
Alzheimer's takes a worse toll on the family than it does on the patient, as they really don't know what is happening.
At the time, I was trying to raise my last errant teenager alone, and did part time duty with another lady with Alzheimer's to be able to do what I needed to for Mom.
She has been gone for 13 years, now, and I just have Dad to care for. He is 94, and although he had a stroke 10 years ago, is still living on his own, with my help. He, on the other hand, has a memory like a steel trap, and can tell what happened in 1920, as a 3 yr. old.
I had a sister, but her sole concern has always been money and a phone call or card from her once a year was always her best effort for our parents. She only shows up when someone dies, to see what she can get.
It becomes especially hard when the sole responsibility falls on one person.
I am especially blessed, as my formerly delinquent daughter grew up, settled down, and she helps me see to Dad's needs when I call.
Prayer is also the best nerve medication available. God listens when you need to scream and cry.
It is a hard road and God bless you for caring like you do.
If there is any time I can help you, please PM me. If it will help any I will even give you my email addy and my phone number.
[[[[HUGS]]]]
Nancy