You might want to check on 'Quilt for Kids' through Downy. They will send you all the material for a quilt except the batting. You make it and return it. The only cost is the batting and mailing it back. It will get you to sewing/quilting; and maybe with time, you can start to get some material a little bit at a time. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. That must be devastating, and you definitely need something else in your life to keep you busy and happy. Good luck. - Cynthia