Originally Posted by iowabelle
Sorry I don't talk much here--my internet access is undependable but I check in as I can.
So Thursday I get an email from my 71 y.o. mother that she's start chemo on Monday for breast cancer. This was the first I'd heard about it. She says they're planning a double mastectomy for the summer.
I live several hundred miles away from her, but she does actually live with my brother, and they are very close. I haven't managed to talk or get an email yet from him so I can't tell what's up for sure.
I was really shocked, since her health has been good, she stopped smoking 20 years ago. Although both her parents died of cancer, it wasn't breast cancer.
But it's not realistic to think you're going to have parents your whole life (although I do know a few 60- and 70-somethings who do!).
So what did you do to deal with the possibility of losing your parent (or relative), and what did you do for them?
Well, I lost my dad to heart attack when I was 18, so no planning there. My mother had breast cancer and survived over 5 years before she died. I lived in PA & she was in Michigan. Her death was sudden and no planning there. I lost a brother to a 5 year battle with brain cancer, he was in Chicago and me in PA. Got to see him once during that time, a very difficult visit. Watched my husband waste away from lung cancer after not smoking for 15 years and part of his lung removed. The last 18 months was one of preparation and getting realistic with my situation. No time for sentimentality here. People asked and still ask how I dealt with it. My answer was, "what are you going to do? Get up in the morning and say I can't deal with this and go back to bed?" You deal with it as best you know how. One day at a time.....