I don't know you or Cathy but if she loved you as you indicate, I am sure she would want you to "live" .... as you would have wanted her to do if the roles were reversed!!!! Seems to me that people who have/had good marriages find it easier to move on to someone else while those that had not so good relationships and lose their partner, tend to stay single. I don't know if this is statistically true but it's just an observation on my part. People who were once happy are willing to share themselves again. Maybe true, maybe not! Good luck to you and may you find continued happiness! Life is too short as it is .... as you well know.