What a fun story. You would fit into our southern culture here in Louisiana with unbelievable finesse! I can see this story unfold and even envision myself and a few close friends in the story. Love it and would love to see a photo of one of your Bible-bashing-bags. Although I have to say as an English teacher, this phrase could be confusing.....it could mean a bag to bash a Bible or a bag with Bible with which one person bashes another. Just playing with the words, of course, just not as well as you! You really can write a story!