Truly, with your sense of humour, I don't think you will ever have to worry whether your house is tidy or not. People will flock to your door regardless! I haver been laughing for the last ten minutes about your email because I know EXACTLY how you feel. I always tell people if they're coming to see me, they can come at any time of the day or night, my door is always open. If they want to see my house perfectly tidy, phone in advance!