To me, it always seems that shops offer free shipping within continental USA. Not meeting that criteria often adds unreasonable amounts of money. I've managed to negotiate shipping by calling the vendor, since a problem always arises with some companies (such as FedEx) and not others (USPS). If there is no on-line option to choose shipping method, I always call. If shipping & handling seems just an exhorbitant 'extra', I'll find somewhere else to buy.
I understand why companies have preferred methods, and handling costs but don't understand when anything different becomes impossible.