The bio-identical hormones worked wonders for me. Only a few Drs prescribe them and then you can only get them at a compounding pharmacy. But there are no cancer or heart problem risks with them. Susan Sommers has written several books about them. They work.
I quit taking a them a couple years, (mainly because I couldnt stand the dr I had to see to get the prescription) but alas , my hot flashes have returned. I would say I do not get grouchy, but, now that I think about,.. I do get a tad bi***y in the middle of the flash..
But hey.. thats not MY problem.. I am perfectly justified to yell at anyone near by.. they shouldn't be near me during a hot flash, unless they are diligently fanning me and offering ice water. And they need to quit saying things like, "OMG, you are turning beet red!" Such comments are not helpful.