IMHO your DIL didn't mean to be rude - she just doesn't understand the world of quilts. Haven't we all said and done things that, after thinking about them afterward, just didn't come out right? I've had to make many apologies, both to
MIL and DIL because things didn't come out the way I meant them. She's got a lot on her plate and probably could use an extra hug, especially from you.
I always look for panels first, they are so much fun to embellish!