I love using panels. You can take 10 people with the same panel and they will all turn it into completely different looking quilts. If you sandwich it and quilt it - it's a quilt. Does your DD sew or quilt?
I'm the type of parent that would have said to my DD "Hey, It's not very nice to criticize a gift someone has makes for you or your family". I've told my kids (25 & 16) Don't expect me to stop correcting you because you're an adult. You're never too old to be (privately)corrected. When you say rude, hurtful or mean things, I'm gonna let you know. That is not acceptable. It's ungrateful and hurtful and I'd straighten her out right now. If you do - it won't happen again (at least it will begin to change). If this is a DIL - I would say you're one of mine now and the same goes for you!