Well, I'm going to say something a little different than everyone else...sort of. Everyone is different and everyone has their own unique style of quilting. There is no sense in comparing yours to someone elses.
I have been a hand quilter for 14 years and I do not do the book instructed type of stitches. I have almost no strength in my hands due to a disabilty. I stab stitch..GASP!! But having said that I have perfected my stitch over time so that unless someone actually sees me quilting they would never guess that I have to do it that way. There is a process of loading your stitches on to the thread closest to the needle eye and then pulling five or six through all at once so that it gives the look of regular hand quilting. Many quilters have looked at my work and none knew the truth about how I created my personal stitch. I can also promise you that no one has ever thrown a hand stitched quilt back at me and screamed NOOO YOU DID IT WRONG! LOL! This is not to say that you should resort to my way of doing things, my way took lots of time and practice too. The best thing that you can do is take your time, grieve your loss, treat yourself with kindness for as long as you need to. No matter the stitches, that quilt you are making will always wrap you in warmth and eventually fond memories. Best wishes!