ok. no way i'm taking sides here. just some food for thought that might or might not apply to your specific situation.
once we start thinking in terms of hiding our purchases vs. cutting back on our purchases, aren't we admitting to ourselves that we're doing something we either know is definitely not right, or that is probably wrong?
isn't it better to sit down with the financial partner for an open, honest conversation? mutual agreements and ground "rules"? compromise and adaptation might be necessary, but wouldn't that be less stressful than having to hide and worry?