Originally Posted by PatriceJ
ok. no way i'm taking sides here. just some food for thought that might or might not apply to your specific situation.
once we start thinking in terms of hiding our purchases vs. cutting back on our purchases, aren't we admitting to ourselves that we're doing something we either know is definitely not right, or that is probably wrong?
isn't it better to sit down with the financial partner for an open, honest conversation? mutual agreements and ground "rules"? compromise and adaptation might be necessary, but wouldn't that be less stressful than having to hide and worry?
I agree with Patrice. Tomorrow I will have been married for 56 years. There were a lot of lean years in the beginning, and buying was a big deal, for both of us. We learned early that just because we liked something, didn"t mean we had to have it. We learned to budget and we made decisions together about any purchases. All these years later, we don't have those problems, but we still talk expenditures over with each other, at least any big ones. I have never been denied anything I really wanted, nor he, but the idea that I would have to hide things from him, or fib about it, goes against the grain. If I see fabric or notions on sale and I think it is a good deal, I just tell him, and off we go to the store. There are times when I'm not up to the walking that he has even gone to get something for me. You all may hate me for this comment, but I am amazed at how large a stash most of you have. At times it seems that you buy for the sake of buying, not because you really need it. Either that, or you plan to live a long time and make a quilt a week. I do have fabric on hand, I'm not beyond an occasional splurge, but to have walls full seems overdone. I most definitly would sit down with your hubby and talk about this. If it is really troubling him, it needs to be worked out . Marriage isn"t all me or all you, it is an US!