How about "that dog don't hunt!"
Or "If you want to run with the big dogs you've got to get off the porch"
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step"
"Pretty is as Pretty does" and "you're judged by the friends you keep"
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today."
"A penny saved is a penny earned."
"Waste not, want not"
My Dad used to say something was as "slick as snot on a door knob"
and my Mom would threaten to "jerk off our arm and beat us with the bloody stump" Or she was going to "reach down our throat and jerk us in-side-out" She was a real sweetie.