It is a wonderful thing you are doing. Just take a deep breath and sew. You may cry and they will cry, but it is healing. There are stages you need to go through in grief, and the feelings are there no matter what anyone says or doesn't say, the memories are still there. The wife/mother gave you the shirts, so she is probably looking forward to seeing the quilt. Good luck and post pictures when you are done. Looking forward to seeing it.
Sue