Is there something else that would show her your loving concern without costing you disappointment if she's not able to show proper appreciation? It seems that between the lines I'm reading a lot of reluctance to invest so much of your time in this gift. Maybe a sweet quilted pillow would be enough to get the point across without knocking yourself out. If she happens to adore it, then a quilt could follow at a later time. Another advantage is that you'd have the gift ready sooner, and it seems to me she's hurting right now, so the sooner the better.