It was my understanding that you did not have to give a gift period. However, if you did chose to do so, you either gave at a shower or at the wedding. Not both places. I was also taught that a gift was given in love not obligation and that it was the thought that counted and not the cost. If you want to give something, it is proper to send or give a card and enclose a check or cash that is within your budget. She can put it with other money received and purchase one of the expensive gifts she wants. Sounds to me like she is a spoiled brat.