I'm a smoker who actually hates the smell of tobacco. We don't smoke in our house because we don't like the way a house can reek from it.
From the times that I've managed to quit, I know that smokers smell like cigarettes just from going outside for a smoke break, so I'm very conscious of how I smell. The other day, the doctor said to me, "So you're still smoking, hm?" Of course, he smelled it on me - which I can't do, any more.
I hesitate to participate in swaps, as well. Even though I don't smoke in the house or around my fabrics, the odor can transfer from my clothes to the fabric I'm handling and if someone is really sensitive to it, they'll be upset with me.
I don't think anyone hates smokers - that would be silly, like hating fat people or people who drive SUV's. :mrgreen:
It's our habit that they don't like. Try not to be offended - it's not you, it's just the odor they don't like. I'm sure that you wouldn't intentionally inflict that nasty smell on anyone, but we don't even know it's there. It smells okay to us! :)