What makes this harder is ... when I first wrote to let her know about our troubles she thanked me for being so nice... I LIKE to be nice... it should be my middle name! :) I also agree that you can't UNSAY - I called that "unringing the bell" when my kids were at home.
I get the feeling this is a one person shop. Could be wrong, of course.
I think I'll send another friendly reminder by email. If that doesn't do the trick then I'll try to give her a call.
Thanks for both the support and the advice. I don't want to make too big a deal about my card being charged for merchandise that the vendor knew she wasn't sending. Perhaps she charged the card and then found the item to be out of stock? Too busy to go back and fix it?