Absolutely agree. I was in this situation twice in my childbearing years. After the first loss, where no one "mentioned it to me" lest they cause hurt, I realized that the way to deal with grief is not to bury it out of memory. She likely needs to talk about this, and be heard. Do not pretend it never happened! It takes MUCH longer to recover from grief when it can not be acknowledged.
Ask her opinion sweetly, lovingly. Suggest another way (lap quilt for her) that you can give to her; mention the idea of the block in a new quilt. She may want the new quilt, but pack it away for a while, That's okay. Just let her know you care!
Jan in VA
Originally Posted by alaskasunshine
I have been through this. I miscarried and then had a ectopic. I feel like you should tell her what you were making, even show her if she wants to see thw quilt you were making. Let her make your decision. Your love in stitches may be just what she needs to draw comfort & healing. I would have loved to have had a friend like you. Her heart will be so touched by your kindness. She needs to be able to grieve and know that others hurt for her loss.
Just that you have come here for advice shows how delicate this all is. Avoidance is all to often what happens in sorrowful circumstances and that adds pain on pain. Go give her a hug and share your intentions.
take care,
:-D