Bladder infection may cause subtle behavior changes, one gentleman would get frisky, another lady would talk to her dead mother, another would just be irritable, the first thing we did was check for a UTI (urinary tract infection). Be sure and check if you suspect one because many complications if you let it go too long.
Is the incontinence new? Have you told her medical provider about the incontinence?
Old nurses do find it hard to change, especially what we call items. Chucks is the name we used.