A lot of ladies have this problem. Try a under pad You get it where you buy the diapers. For night time wear probably the kind of diapers that have to tab closures will help. You could change her easier and put a skin protector on her like vaseline. This will help her from getting diaper rash. My mother had pads like a very small quilt type she used. It does protect the bed. I took care of my father and this worked very well for him. Good Luck. I admire you for this but she took care of you. Moms are very special.