I'm very sorry for your loss. I know it's difficult, but keeping busy does help sometimes. About the ripping out, I've taken the attitude that whenever I sew anything, there will be ripping out involved. It's just part of the deal. I managed to sew incorrectly 8 times on this binding. Thank heavens I sewed the seam 9 times. Patience was the lesson of the day. Now instead of crying, I shrug my shoulders and just keep on keepin' on. You will too.