I'm sorry for your loss.
But the trip.....you survived it, thought through what to do to help yourself (even if you thought it was silly!), had perspective on it afterward, and went home to live well another day!
How empowering that should be for you!
Yes, you are lonely, but you are not alone. There is a whole wide world out there just waiting for the taking. I hope you dance! Bless your sweet son. :-)
Jan in VA