You may not like to hear this, but if you make a quilt, and it is not made with love and caring, it is a waste of your time and benefits no one. Either put aside all negative feelings, (and I don't blame you for having them!) and make it, bless it, and release it. If it is stolen, it was not meant to be hers..... If you don't want to put the time and energy into it, then, please don't do it. Grandma won't know, and it sounds as if MIL is just being manipulative... do it with love, or don't do it at all. I send my love and support to you in making your decision.