Originally Posted by Rebecca VLQ
I disagree. Because...
Folks that go into a nursing home generally have a shortened life expectancy. Yes, they are having a hard time taking care of themselves outside of the nursing home, but folks deteriorate even in the NICEST nursing homes because they are taken care of, rather than having something to be responsible for.
Sad to say it, whether it's a year or 10 years...your MIL's mother is dying. We're all dying in a sense, but MIL's mother is moving toward that.
MIL asked you to make a quilt for her mother. It's a way of taking care of her elders before they pass on. From a spiritual/respect kinda place...ask your Mother in Law if she would like to choose the fabrics for her mother's quilt. Tell her you can help since you have an eye for color. I bet she will at the very least appreciate the offer.
I tend to agree with Rebecca.
It seems an underlying issue is floating "between the lines" here, and that will be for you to iron out. MIL sounds like a lonely lady and maybe even fearful of her future fate watching her mother enter the final stage of life.
If I were in your place I would do as Rebecca suggests....ask your MIL to be part of the quilt process by helping select the fabric. She knows what her mom liked.
Also, might I suggest that when the quilt is given to Grandma, a slightly "big deal" be made in front of the staff - sort of letting people know that it's something special and that the care of it will be done by the family. I would also make sure to take a lot of pictures of it with Grandma...even making sure to take a picture on future visits.
Definitely make sure the Quilt is identifiable in plain English, so the staff realzies that nothing should happen to it.
Saddly, in this day and age, one can't be too trusting.
Enjoy making the quilt and I personally wouldn't expect compensation, no matter what it might cost me. The opportunity to make it for her would be my payment. But that's just me.