Here is my 2 cents for what it is worth – if what you have in your stash is already assigned to a project then you need to allow her to buy new material but I wouldn’t buy more then what is required to make the pattern. As far as her being needy you do not indicate if this is how she is as a norm – but I think that maybe by having to put her mom in a nursing home she is upset about that and more to the heart she might be thinking “I’m not that far from being here” maybe this is a reality check.