Have heard so many of these... Takes me back years and years.
Mom (when her sciatica was bothering her):
"Ooh! I got a hitch in my get-a-long"
When her constitution was amuck
"Get out of the way, I have the hurry-ups"
Dad after spicy food, would say: "I've got the come on ice-creams"
DH's mom would threaten: "Knock it off or I'm gonna pinch off your head and spit in the hole" - I was afraid of her for the longest time.
Well, ya can't take it with ya
Cleanliness is next to Godliness
Better than getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick
If he was any closer, it would have bit him
He's three cans short of a six pack
Buy ya books, send ya to school and all ya do is eat the books
Time's a waistin
Well, can't dance and it's too late to plow
Hair of the dog (morning after a hangover drink)
Just for sh*ts and giggles
What's that sh*t eatin grin about?
She's a little P*ss ant.
She's dumber than a doorknob (or doughnut)
Want a little cracker with that wine
I may be used - but I aint used up
Gotta tell ya a little story:
Mom had six kids in the 50's. Three boys then three girls in that order. She used to put us all in the station wagon to pick up dad from work (every day). One of us would smart off and she would give you the evil eye in the rear view mirror. I don't know if other moms could do this, but she could look in the mirror, reach down, take off her flip flop, fling it over her shoulder (with just a simple flick) and hit which ever of us was the offender right square in the mouth. The woman had eyes in the back of her head. (I remember when I was small - looking for them under her ponytail).
DH Used to say "Urban cowboys put their names on their belts, so that when they get their head out of their *ss they would remember who they were."
Thanks for the memories.