I can feel your pain!
Nobody ever said being a military wife/spouse was going to be easy or FUN....you do have to be strong and learn to be independent for you and your kids...
Those deployments sure helped me prepare for being a single mom...but then I was raised military and grew up with Dad always gone and mom did not drive! As the oldest I had to grow up quick and learned to drive at 14 with a special lic. to take my mom shopping on Sat.
These days I think deployments would be easier without all the modern technologies...sometimes hearing their voice on the cell phone, or seeing them on Skype just makes it worse!
Get involved with the other spouses and make sure the command has a counselor you can talk to when you need to!