Synthrapol is a really safe soap to use on a quilt, especially if you are not sure if some of the fabrics might bleed. Many quilt shops carry it now, especially if they cater to quilters who dye fabrics. Any quilt shop is likely to carry a gentle soap suitable for quilts.
I don't know about using commercial laundry products. Although I use liquid fabric softener on all of our laundry, I'm not sure I'd use it when washing a quilt; I know that it can spot some fabrics. Maybe someone else knows?