I definitely share your same feelings quilting grannie. It was Oct. of 1990 when my mother passed away. I was a bit older than you when she passed away, as were my children. They had many wonderfuld summers and years with her. Our daughter was a Sr. in H.S. and son was a freshman. However my youngest niece was only 4 so she never really knew mother oldest niece and nephew were both married with children at the time.
We were the best of friends, and shared so much, there is just my brother and I, and not having a sister mother and I were very close. We often called each other when we had questions about sewing or cooking. I feel like I was cheated of so many wonderful years, and would love for her to see my quilts and other things that I have accomplished since her passing, but then who am I to feel that way and have felt guilty about that when God has His own plan. We had daddy until 2004, now there is just my brother and I and we have always been so close, we often talk about what wonderful parents we had.
I too have a very hard time with Mother's Day and now Father's Day.
My husband lost his dad five months after my mother passed away and his mother three years ago now.When they were all living I bought all cards and gifts, but just couldn't anymore after mother passed away.
For about three years I would think about something and think I need to call mother and tell her, then reality would sit in. Even now I still find myself wishing I could call and tell her somthing. I talk to her and to daddy a lot. I still think of them every day, I guess I always will.
But I'm like you I finally had to realize that I'm the mother now and also wonder how my kids will deal with the same thing. I'm the Aunt that my youngest niece calls, her mother is still living, but walked out on her and my brother when she was 14. Niece has been married for 3 yrs now and doesn't have much to do with her mother.
I have had a good day though, I had a early morning call from my brother, wishing me a Happy Mother's day, a beautiful card and phone call today from my son, he lives about 500 miles away, and never misses sending a card and calling. A short but enjoyable visit and a beautiful amethyst geode pendant from by daughter, she lives 100 miles away. I can't forget a dozen beautiful roses from DH.
We will never ever quit missing our parents, time eases the pain, but it will always be there, especially on certain occasions.
Sorry for the long post, but somtimes we just have to get things like this off our chests, or at least I do, I am one that just can't cry,wish I could it would help more I think, and this is how I deal with my pain by talking about it.
But wishing all who have lost their mothers and all who still are lucky enough to have their mothers with them, a late but beautiful Mother's Day and many many more to come. Cherish every day and year you have her with you. (((Hugs))) to all Gerbie