one way to ensure a recipient knows you made a quilt special for them is to make sure you put lots of pertinent information on the label- i bet if the label says ' made special for daughter inlaw ___ on this date___ for ___...
but she may not have let the quilt go---it could very well be in a chest somewhere...or she may have washed it...and damaged it---and is too upset-embarrased- does not want to hurt mil's feelings-- keeps it hidden when mil is around so she wont find out---
we should not just "assume" the worse when we give a quilt we do not see again.