My first child was the first grandchild on my side of the family. I told my MIL she could come after my mother left because we had only one guest room. Thankfully she listened. I told my mom to wait until baby was born because I wanted her there longer after baby came. It would have been great to have her there before too, but I knew she wanted to spend time with the baby. I didn't ask and she didn't ask, we just both knew. Second time around MIL did not make it, we were stationed too far away for her to drive and she doesn't fly. My mother was there and I cried when she left!