For the most part, I only make afghans or quilts for someone (family only at this point) after talking to them and finding out exactly what they want. No, it's not a surprise, but that way I know it will be used. I did make surprise afghans for my two grand kids, but I know they use them. I asked my son for the colors before I made them, and he told me that they use them all the time, especially this past winter when it was soooo cold and their house is rather drafty.
I asked my youngest son if he wanted a quilt. He informed me that no, he'd rather I make him another afghan like the one he wraps himself in every night. Only this time, he wants it to be out of thicker yarn, larger gauge hook, and bigger! :) Maybe some day he'll want a quilt, and when he is ready for it, it will be exactly what he wants.
DD wants a purple quilt for her room. I already made her a pillow, and have 24 squares for the quilt already done - it's going to be a disappearing 9-patch. Only 18 more squares to go before I cut them apart and figure out a pleasing arrangement! She will definitely be in on the process.
I guess with quilts I'm not going to go through the effort and expense of making one for someone unless I KNOW they want it. I suppose you could say that I'm making them to order. :)
(Side note - dh and I were talking about the king quilt I'm almost done with for our bed. We figured out that if we were to buy a similar one, it would cost in the neighborhood of $400 or so! *Gasp*! I didn't realize when I started that it would be worth so much! Wow.)