Barb,
I am so sorry that you lost your brother in such an unimaginable way and am with you in thought on your sad day.
Do you have a support group in your area or are you familiar with the organization "Friends for Survival" They are a wonderful volunteer organization based in Sacramento, but their outreach via email newsletter is nationwide. I'm including the link:
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org/
My company has helped them with funding, so I've had the opportunity to go to their office where they have a memory quilt that just about breaks your heart. The individuals in the pictures are all smiling and then they are gone.
BIG HUG from CA