I live in NC. I'm not sure I can answer your questions, but I'm happy to try. NC has a wide range of lifestyle choices. We have mountains, coast, and the Piedmont in between. The largest cities are Charlotte, Raleigh, and Winston-Salem. You can choose an urban lifestyle or a rural one. Obviously there's a wide range of cost of living options. Some of our small towns won't have anything in new housing whereas Raleigh will have whole developments for sale. What does your SIL do for a living? I know there is a camp for disabled kids called Victory Junction. It's close to Charlotte, but I don't know exactly where it is. You can PM me if you like. I'll be happy to answer any questions I can.