Another reason why I never had kids - I would have stopped the biddy in her tracks by screaming "She's trying to kidnap Junior!!! Help!!!" and let her deal with the consequences of her self-righteousness.
As to the smoking, It has been years smokefree for me, and I still get cravings. It will never get easier to quit than it is now, when it hasn't become part of your self-image, and a major coping skill. But, you need to do it for yoursellf, noone else. When the time is right, it''ll happen.