sorry for the loss of your husband. i am only thirty but i lost my first husband when i was 24 after being together for 8 years. it was hard and although i have 'moved on' i still love and miss him everyday. i have yet to really love anyone else although i do have a new dh, it is nowhere near being the same. i can't imagine how much harder it must be after spending so many years together. my thoughts will be with you.