Oh that was to funny. My husband was even laughing as I read it. I hope you don't mind but i'm going to CCP and share this with some of my friends. SO Funny.
Your right she should have been a writer.
BTW has anyone tried Grants Kills Ants ant stakes. They are metal stakes that you pound in every so many feet around your house foundation the ants return to the nest with it and it kills the queen. One thing though suggested to me and it made them work better. When putting them in take a toothpick, nail, bamboo scur and kinda stir the stuff instde a littl to loosen it up, then pour hot water over the top of each stake to activate it to attract the ants. It helped us get rid of them at a duplex we lived at once in no time. Of course like most poisons I think they work better depending on the species.