Missy, I'm sorry you were hurt by your staunchest ally. Your mother has been at your side through so much. In your defense, you're right, your sister and fiance need to show restraint in public. In your mother's defense, you've got to remember that yours is the first generation that being lesbian is openly acceptable. Your mother was raised in another time and has done well to be supportive to date. She also comes from a generation that worries about what other people think which would explain by she was upset in public when she isn't at home. My ex husband had that one down pat, though somehow it skipped me. Also being the mother of the bride can be stressful. You are expected to know all the answers even before the question is asked.
I think you and your mother need to have a cup of tea together and make peace with where you are at. The mother/daughter bond is stronger than the glitches that come along.
I'm also sorry you are getting PMs like that. That is just cowardly for someone to attack privately. BTW, in my post, I wasn't defending you. I was just telling the truth. You are a valuable part of this thread. Maybe I shouldn't have come back to edit my first response. I decided this thread was not the place for my red headed temper to fly, so I removed the last part.
Last week I taught my 13 year old granddaughter to stand and walk tall. - "Get your shoulders back and butt under you and be proud of who you are." Good advice for all of us.
Hugs to all who need one and hugs to all who don't know they need one. We all do.
I AM losing weight.
Judy