I actually was very depressed/moody from about the age of 14 until I hit menopause. (wanted to commit suicide around 14) The hot flashes were a B* but even thru them, menopause made me feel like I had a whole new life in front of me. Being old, except for the beat body is the best time of my life!
I have never ever liked Drs or meds - the only time I went to Dr for it was when I was 19 and the Dr said: "do you have a boyfriend?", yes, "is he here?", no, in Vietnam, "well, you'll feel better when he comes home." The end. After that the only time I've been to a Dr is for mandatory work physicals. (Oh, went in for diabetes tests, too - at least 5 times in 30 yrs cus I know my own body and how its acting - they said every time, you're fine!! My GF F and uncle died of diabetes complications, it runs on dads side - I kept telling them to check for both kinds, nope, only give me the same one test over and over. Now, I just follow dads diet, eat 6 small meals thru the day and religiously stay away from sugars and hidden sugars and feel 100% better!)
I do think hypothyroid is an underdiagnosed issue and can make you feel just terrible. You have to beat a Dr over the head to check for certain things.
It is esp very depressing to be alone on holidays. I was/am alone alot. Hubs is now on the boat for a week. Try not to drug yourself with foods or anything else that may become addictive (meds, smokes, booze, shopping etc). Find a scent you love, that makes you crazy happy when you smell it. Lately I've been nuts for the new Old Spice deoderants. Open one and but it on a vent that is running, hot or cold, just to get the smell in the room. Wear it all over you! It's what makes you happy to smell!!! What matters is you and your mood - not the what will people think if I do THAT - thing.
If you like certain colors, go thru your stash and play with them. Start a small new project you can pick up when you want and you wont beat yourself up for not finishing. Try anything new you always wanted to do but were afraid to try - anything. Wear a color you love, but were told "looks bad on you!" What is your fav movie (NOT a sad one! a happy one!)Watch some of your fav funny/happy ending movies. Make a pot of homemade - loose popcorn in a real pot, pop it not the micor, put in your fav flavors, or try something new - I watch Arsenic and Old Lace and eat chili popcorn.
Get outside, mow the lawn, the smell is incredible, plant something, anything, go for a walk, get a little sunshine on you, 20 min in the sun can lift you. Ride a bike. Take a day and see what/how you eat then start a better way - even eating right can make your mood better. Smile at everyone. Go to the grocery and let people in line ahead of you, smile. Talk to strangers in line, smile. .Do not dwell on feeling depressed, do not talk to people about problems, do not talk in any way negative, dont watch any news shows any pointlessly violent programs. The brain is a wonderful machine, it will go where you program it. You can program w/ chemicals (meds) or you can program with chemicals already in your body - the thing with your body is you are in charge of it and you have to figure out what will program for you. Smells, smiles, foods, laughter, can help release the hormones, trigger brain changes to turn off the depression. Sad, angry, violent things, darkness, can make it trigger into depression.
The aloneness can be altered just by a PM to anyone on this board! We are all here and will be here if you are so down you just want to talk w/ someone. sharet