Originally Posted by Rita's mom
I am not sure how yahoo groups work but would love to learn! Missy I wouldn't mind at all but thats just my opinion.
scrapngmom I hear you on the running on fumes statement! Things are not calmer around here like I had hoped for. I did stay on track with my eating yesterday so that is a plus and I drank a fair amount but not what I needed to so that is ok.
Can I steal some wisdom from you all? Does any of you have experience with someone who you feel sorry for but at the same time wonder if some of the stuff they are saying could be made up or exadurated(SP?) so you will feel sorry for them and they get what they want? My oldest daughter finally had enough of this guy she has dated for almost 2 yrs and broke up with him or is trying to anyway. I have never really liked him(well I like him and feel sorry for him, I just don't think he is right or a blessing to my daughter)He can be very thoughtless,and kind of all about himself, can be kind of a BSer,tends to be racist or at least ignorant about alot of things which in my mind is where racism stems from, and a few other things. I tell my daughter how I feel and then tell her If she stays with him she has nobody to blame but herself. Anyway to make a long story short since she told him she wanted to break up he is whineing and begging her nonstop to give him another chance, texting me saying she is his everything he just has never had anyone teach him how to be a good boyfriend etc, etc. He also text my other daughter, my daughters friend that she has been hanging out with all with the same stuff how can I get her back. I have been trying to give him positive stuff when he says his dad calls him worthless and a piece of **** and how he never had friends till my daughter on and on. Well I am so drained from all of this because I always feel sorry for people and can't or won't be mean. I am torn and this is my question.... how do you know if what people are saying is true or they just want everyone to feel sorry for them and give them what they want? He is over the top and to be honest as bad as I feel for him (his home life is bad or at least wierd and he does make people want to pull away from him because he tends to BS and talk nonstop)I think he is kind of unstable. I am not sure if he is just a immature baby and think that if he whines he will get what he wants or if he really is clueless about why his life is like this. What sticks in my mind is everything he says is all about him, he is so sad, he has no friends, his dad is mean to him, he is having a crisis because he is so sad, on and on. I have tried telling him my daughter is just tired give her time to rest and figure out what she wants but it is still how sad he is, how she is his everything on and on. To make it worse today is her birthday and he wants to drop off her present. She told him not to get her anything when they broke up but now he has something that he ordered and can't send back because it is custom made. I know tonight is going to end up a mess and as I said it is still all about him and what he wants. Sorry I hope some part of that long rant made sense. I am just trying to figure out how to deal with him without being mean. After you get so drained from it you start to lose some of your tact and feel very irritated. And we all know my butt doesn't need the stress!!! Does anyone have any experience with some one like this?
Sorry I know this is probably not appropriate for this thread but I feel like I know most of you and there is alot of great wisdom here.
This dude is using you guys.He is insecure and a clingy needy dominant selfish loser.Tell him to get the violins out and tell it to Oprah.Better yet tell him "you know what,I can't help you,maybe you should go get thearapy.I see now why your mentaly drained.In life there are givers,and there are takers.You are a gas station for people with issues to "DUMP" the sht into..It's not your job to let others dump on you.Their parasites sucking the life out of you to feed their ego's and to take from you.To make them feel good,meanwhile your drained.I use to be that way too,till I realized I was just a dumping ground for them to dump their stuff on and to feel better when they leave. This guy is dangerous.If he can't take no and move on,he may be so posessive he may not leave her or you all alone.I'd tell him it's over,move on.And stop answering his calls,texts,emails, etc.If he persists,have a restraing order put out on him.Then he'll get the message,if he don't,call the police.Cut off all communications with him.If he can't reach any of you,he can't keep bothering you all.He needs to move on.And so do you.And don't be a host any more for other parasites.It's their issues,not yours.Start saying,you know I don't know what to say,I have problems too I can't resolve,what are you going to do?.Pretty soon,they'll quite coming if they can't feed off you,they'll go elsewhere to feed off someone else.No wonder your drained.They are literally sucking the life out of you to where you don't have anything left for yourself.You have to take care of you,and let others step up to the plate and help out so you can start having some 'me time' every day.Learn to say no,I have,and am much better now because of it.I wanted to add,it's one thing to help people,we all need help at some point,but this guy and others like him,that won't take no,it's over,will be like my ex,he was super acomidating till he got what he wanted,then was right back to being a jerk.A leopard don't change it's spots.His family said it all,he is what they said.They know him best.We can't change any body.A lot of gals think,well,i can change him.they can't.He's only playing his 'poor me,help me' card.He should be talking to your daughter.Your instincts were right on about him.Your daughter deserves better.Thank goodness she woke up.