It took you time to learn how to write so well. And it will take you time to FMQ so well. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Of course, this is coming from someone who is "rotary challenged" as well as "FMQ challenged". I practice some but usually I just piece a charity quilt then dive into the FMQ right on the piece. It has gotten a little better over time.
If it was the 70's I would have smoked a joint then FMQ'd....but alas those days are long gone. Stick with it. I have (as well as many here) posted about my crappy quilting. In fact I am going to a friend's house today who is a wonderful cross stitcher. We always play show & tell when we get together. I am taking a small wall hanging I made that has some of my terrible FMQ work....luckily she knows squat about quilting! But I still have pride in my work. As today's FMQ is better than last month or last year. Not being brought up in a crafty family all aspects of quilting is brand new to me at the ripe age of 55. Now I just take time to laugh at myself!