Oh Barb, good for you!!!!! Your quilt will be so awesome! I would go with blues maybe like others have said, but maybe like dark naby blues? that can be mixed with burgandys and neutrals? That way its not too girls, and can go with almost any colour scheme. What about a theme quilt? Something that offers hope? Like i always think stars look like heaven and look hopeful. Or something that might get the message across would be the lone star pattern, at star, that felt alone? Theres so many ideas like this that you can think of, and i think quilters cache is awesome too for ideas. Oh please tell us more as you're doing this, i'm very excited for you :) :) :)
PS or, depending on your message, broken hearts...a heart that is broken in half, or compass stars...mean lets keep our young ones on our radar and watch for signs.