I don't like that either. If your family is grown it is so much fun to look at all of the new merchandise in the stores and pick up something. Handmade gifts should be cherished. Maybe just go in with a group and throw in a few dollars for the gift card since they aren't really close to you. Sometimes I don't buy off of the registry and when my daughter got married this year many people just picked out something special for them that wasn't even on the list. DD didn't have a problem with it as she could take some of the cash and buy things off the registry after the wedding at a discount. I haven't experienced a shower where actual gifts are not acceptable.